Radius Of Chaos
by von seckendorf
Summary: What do you do when love is nowhere to be found among the Senshi? Why, call upon Setsuna of course! But when she in turn calls upon an eccentric friend of hers for help, could there be a surprise waiting for the meddler as well? HxM AmiMako MinaSets UsaMa
1. Wednesday: The Planning

Woo! This should be fun. I'll try to make each chapter at least a thousand words, to be fair.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. Or anything from Saturday Night Live. Or the Swan Princess. Just a note for future chappies.**

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Setsuna leaned against the Gates of Time and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. The week had not been going well at all. The sheer amount of cold-shouldering, hostility, and speech avoidance of the past few days was basically threatening to pile up and avalanche on the Senshi of Time. And it was only Wednesday. 

She had time to change the course of all this social destruction, of course, (just look at her job title!) but the mere thought of all the work ahead got her procrastinating like a high school student. It was not a becoming habit for one with her duty, and Setsuna comforted herself with knowledge gained only through omniscience that the chance of youma attacks or powerful fighters with wicked intentions popping up anywhere in the next three years was to be, essentially, nil.Worst of all, she had never had an assistant in a thousand years, so she would have to fix everything all by herself. The prospect did not promise to be fun.

At that, Setsuna adopted a thoughtful expression. There was _one_ person who could help her. Nevertheless, the Senshi of Time hesitated. The friend in question was one whom she could trust...most of the time. _That _wasn't the problem. What _was_ the problem was that she had a way of blackmailing and threatening the dominoes to fall into place instead of making them arrange themselves and then knock each other down, to put it poetically. Still, messes rarely cleaned themselves up, and the fact remained that her friend was the one most..._uniquely_ suited for the job.

Settling down in front of the Time Gates, Setsuna crossed her legs Indian-style, took a deep breath, and concentrated. This was the trouble of creating a mind link between them in case situations like this would arise; you had to get seriously focused. Eventually, she would reach out far enough to "connect her plug" into the link. Then all would be left would be to wait for the other end to pick up and answer to stabilize the telepathy line. There was a short mental squeeze as Setsuna jacked in. Always uncomfortable, mercifully brief. While waiting for her contact to send a reply, the Senshi of Time mulled over the events of the past three days.

Yet the damned thing was that there _weren't_ any events; no noticeable or remarkable ones, at least. Setsuna had known that Haruka and Michiru's relationship had been under strain for some time, although Setsuna couldn't answer as to why even with a ion cannon aimed right at her head. Those two had become near masters of hiding their emotions. Setsuna briefly figured that that in itself may have been one of the reasons why the other Senshi, excluding herself and Hotaru, hadn't warmed up to them as fast as they had to each other, then dismissed the thought. Her friend couldn't be long now, and Setsuna needed to chew over the situation a bit more.

Next on the list was...oh dear...Hotaru and ChibiUsa.

It's so weird how history repeats itself. Setsuna used to find the phrase funny, but when she took her first look at Hotaru and ChibiUsa together, she found it almost eerie. For in her mind's eye, she had seen her full-grown colleagues instead of a prime example of young love. And that was another thing that was so strange; Hotaru and ChibiUsa had, from her understanding of it, been very much in love. So much that it baffled everyone when the two girls had leaped at each other and tried to have a wrestling match right there on the dining table halfway through the main course one night. They were pulled apart and given a stern lecture by each of their parents; at least Hotaru had, judging from the voices floating down the hall to Setsuna's room.

When they were finally allowed to be near each other again, the glares in their eyes seemed to have the capacity to kill. The whole thing had confused Setsuna in a way she never had been before and sincerely hoped she never would be again.

Of course, who could forget the Soldiers of Ice and Thunder? The two were always near the other, always finding some reason to brush hands, always blushing at the strangest of moments. Everyone knew, it seemed, but them. Setsuna sighed. She couldn't tell any more which one was more like Haruka when it came to obliviousness; Makoto, or Ami. As hard as it was to believe that the brunette had missed all the signs, it was almost doubly hard to believe that the genius did too. They were both smart, attentive, reacting people all other circumstances. If the others hadn't been fighting about this, that and the other, the young Kino and Mizuno might have figured it out on their own without all the drama going on in the background. Bless them, they simply had bad timing.

There was no telling what was going on with Usagi and Mamoru. Their relationship was always skirting the fringes of weirdness. The same went for Rei and Minako, although Setsuna had a few choice fantasies regarding the Senshi of Love...that she heartily smacked herself about afterwards while repeating aloud about how it would never happen. The pining Meioh smirked as she thought of a certain something she kept hidden in her study, in the desk drawer with the false bottom. It didn't take away the pain, but it certainly helped vent it.

She suddenly smiled. Her partner had finally gotten her message.

"Hello there, Setsuna. What brings a mind like yours out so late on a school night?"

"I am having...difficulties...in keeping order with my Senshi."

The voice from the other end of the telepathic link laughed dryly. It meant that a germ of some crazy idea was already forming in her head, and knowing her it would revolve around one of two things; cat-and-mouse games, or pure and utter chaos. Setsuna wondered if she would come to regret the decision to include her in this. She was an good friend, very kind, surprisingly wise, but she came with the risk of just driving the other girls even more up the wall. She could be very tactful, very understanding, but at the same time totally confusing and almost painfully blunt.

"Oh, I know that. It's sort of entertaining to watch them all bicker over something so easy to solve, though. Do you really have to fix it now?"

Setsuna smiled, but only with her eyes. Her mouth remained a firm line so her _voice_ could be firm, and therefore keep her contact on topic and _in_ line. "You're the devil."

"One could say the same for you. You always spoil my fun."

"Well, how do you propose I do that?"

The other girl immediately launched into an explanation, eager to fill Setsuna in on every little detail of her plan. The Senshi of Time nodded in approval, although she knew that it couldn't be seen. It was nothing short of amazing how something so ingenious could be concocted in such a short period of time. The plan of action left nothing uncovered; the rest of the Senshi would wind up making up and/or coming out, completely blind to the little pushes and prods Setsuna and her cohort would provide. The guardian of the Time Gates felt quite like a toddler who was plotting to trip his babysitter right into a closet and lock her in there to clear the way for cookies.

It felt invigorating, almost.

Grinning, Setsuna broke off the mental link and made off for home. A quick peek into the future showed that the Time Gates would be perfectly safe for as long as she would need. Joyous over the stroke of good luck, Setsuna increased her speed. Part of her felt eager for the morrow. The look on all of their faces would be _so perfect_. As she hopped down onto the front lawn of the house she shared with Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru, Setsuna couldn't help but voice part of her speech out loud.

"In other words, I am shanghaiing the lot of you. Pack your bags, everyone. We leave in an hour."


	2. Thursday: The Scarring Of A Miko

**Disclaimer still stands.**

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"And why are we going to be stuck up here in the mountains? I don't care if we're going to be in a mansion. It's so unpractical. With no malls or other instances of civilization, Setsusna should know that we'll go crazy with boredom and kill each other. She better not have planned this to end like that! What are we supposed to do for entertainment, is what I'm trying to say here. Play Go Fish?" 

That was the complaint of Minako Aino as she lurched up a tiny hill to the house bordered on one side by a mountain range, and the other a thick, virtually impenetrable pine-wood forest. Strapped across her back was three over-packed carry-on bags, and if not for the equally heavy suitcases she held in each hand, the weight just might have sent her rolling downhill. Rei, burdened with merely three bags, gave a lofty shrug.

"I'm sure Setsuna will buy you a Happy Fun Ball."

The miko just smirked as Minako huffed past her and tried to open the door with her knee, clearly intent on not staying outside any longer in the company of her overly sarcastic friend. When that didn't work, the blonde drama queen resorted to kicking the door with one heavy snow boot and yelling something along the lines about letting her the !#$ in. And still Rei was content to watch her falling on her face, buried by luggage, as Usagi finally got around to opening the mansion's doors. The naive girl blinked in confusion at the sight of two of her best friends, one caught in an avalanche of suitcases and carry-on bags, the other one grinning at the other's plight.

She looked down at the young Aino. "What are you doing, Mina-chan? That looks uncomfortable."

"Well, I'm certainly not having high tea! Get me out of here before I suffocate."

Usagi and ChibiUsa fell to the task in earnest, rolling the huge carry on bags off their friend as fast as they could. Usagi shot a pleading look at her other available, unburied friend. Rei threw up her hands and backed away. "Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn." From the floor Minako glared at her, fully intending to get back at her for that later. When mother and offspring had finally unearthed the future Queen's look-a-like and the bags were finally moved out of the way, the door opened. Turning to see who had arrived, the miko couldn't help but smirk.

"Enter stage right: our local ambiguously gay duo!" Rei announced, gesturing to the stressed out _not-couple _of Haruka and Michiru with a imperious sweep of her hand. Without a word, Haruka dumped all of their baggage on Rei, who ended up buried much like how Minako had been only a few minutes earlier. Ignoring the loud cries of help and annoyance, the gender-bender stalked away, heading right. Michiru did the same to the left. They turned the corners and disappeared down the hall; a few minutes later two separate doors slammed at the same time. Rei looked pleadingly up at the others.

"Help?"

Minako only smirked and waggled one finger at her before getting her own luggage and prancing off to her room. Rei growled, but turn about was fair play, after all. Usagi had disappeared, along with her daughter. Suddenly, she felt a bag being pushed off of her. Twisting around she encountered Hotaru trying very hard not to laugh. Smiling ruefully, Rei began to wriggle out of the pile as best she could. With their combined efforts, she was soon free. The miko stood up and watched the young Tomoe take the handles of two bags in her hands and start off for Haruka's room. Shifting through the mess, Rei found Michiru's stuff and picked it up.

As she was dumping it unceremoniously outside the violinist's door, she couldn't help but notice that Setsuna's own was ajar. Rei ignored it and set off down the hall, but she only made it five steps before turning around and running back. Her natural curiosity had been piqued. After a brief look around, she slipped inside the room. Rei laughed quietly to herself when she saw no one within. Moving quickly, she sneaked over to the large oak desk in the corner, past the queen-sized bed. Rei knelt down and opened the last drawer.

At first it seemed to be empty, but Rei wasn't fooled. Putting one hand below the drawer, she gave the underside a sharp punch. She smirked as the false bottom popped up and over, exposing a thick, untitled book. Setsuna had kept it for who knows how long, and she was crafty when it came to hiding it, but did she really think she could keep a diary out of the hands of Rei Hino? The miko herself removed the book and stowed it under her shirt. Normally, she would never dream of going through someone else's personal things, but this was important.

Rei carefully replaced the false bottom, shut the drawer, and scurried out of the room. Taking great care to look unsuspicious, the miko ducked down the hallways until she was had only one more corner to round before reaching her room. Rei suddenly bit her lip in annoyance. Minako was coming up the hall. She was bound to see the lump under the young Hino's shirt. Thinking fast, Rei thought of a way to distract the other girl and give her a crack to slip though.

"I take it back."

Minako blinked as Rei brushed by her muttering those words. What on earth was she talking about? Whirling around, Minako stared in confusion at the miko's retreating back. "Rei? What do you mean? Take back what? Dammit, don't you ignore me when I'm talking to you Rei! Get back here!" But Rei didn't come back, and she didn't even turn her head. Besides, if Minako could see the mile-wide evil grin on her face, she would be running like a mother in the other direction.

So Rei kept walking, ignoring Minako's demands, and didn't stop until she had made it to her room. Smiling craftily, she withdrew the stolen diary and looked at it. Just out of wonder, Rei opened it and flipped through to a random entry. She slammed it shut a moment later. Walking quickly over to her bed, she lifted the mattress up slightly and stuffed the book underneath it, blushing furiously. _Wow, who would have thought...Setsuna would...she's usually so stoic...damn._ A knock at the door snapped her out of her shocked reverie.

"Rei? You in there?"

"No, I don't have anything hidden under my mattress!" Rei burst out in panic, then clapped her hands to her mouth. Usagi stood in the doorway, blinking. "I mean, yeah, I'm here."

"Um, okay. Anyway, we've got pizza."

Rei nodded and made a big show of straightening her covers. "Yes, yes, I'll be right down. Just stay there. I mean, NO! Go on. Like, somewhere else. Shoo shoo!" The words were clipped and rapid, stinging like tiny stone darts. Usagi recoiled and moved back out into the hall. Ami, who had just arrived and had decided to accompany Usagi on the mission of telling Rei that dinner was ready, subsequently got an earful of the miko's unusual response.

"I wonder what she meant by that," she asked after the blonde had shut the door. Usagi just shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"Knowing Rei, she's just going through a moment."


	3. Friday: The Great Pillow War

**Disclaimer: It still stands, biznatch. Ha ha ha.**

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Setsuna came down the stairs Friday morning wanting to die. She had just been in her study, having experienced a particularly nice dream about a certain blonde last night and feeling the urge to write it down while she could still remember it. Her diary wasn't there. Setsuna's world was turned on its ear just like that. Stoic face or not, it took a lot of willpower to refrain from biting her nails. She was anxious. Any minute, she expected one of the other Senshi to greet her holding the missing diary and asking for an explanation.

With the exception of Ami, as her face would be far too red to grant her speech, and Haruka, who would be laughing her ass off after reading it.

Her mind in turmoil, Setsuna almost missed her favorite blond sitting in front of the fire place. She snapped back to reality and plastered her usual small smile on her face. "Good morning, Minako." Was that all she could say? Gah. Setsuna was pretty sure that Senshis of Time were _not_ supposed to be this hopeless. Minako turned around and smiled. The young woman felt her heart do that jackhammer thing.

"I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?" Minako joked playfully, letting the fire lightly toast her upraised feet. It was about the only perk the place had to offer, in her opinion. Sure, there was snowboarding and snowball fights and snowmen, but Minako was getting sick of all the snow. She wanted something that was warm and gave her an excuse to be lazy. She wanted a _fire_. At Setsuna's upraised eyebrow, the blond laughed and went back to playing with the Rubix Cube she had yoinked from Usagi earlier that morning.

"So, anyway, Setsuna, I was thinking..." She began, fully intending to ask the older woman just what she had been smoking when she kidnapped all of them and stuck them in this house, but Minako found her sentence trailing off without her. How annoying.

"Ah, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey," Setsuna said, moving from the fireplace to the opposite couch and plopping down. She began flipping through the book abandoned on the coffee table. She had read it twice already, but there was nothing like a good speed-read. The image of her empty desk drawer tried to struggle to the surface of her mind again, but she fought it back down. She probably just misplaced the diary. No need to panic.

Oh, fuck that. There _was_ need to panic. That diary held five years worth of fantasies and desires that would strike Setsuna dead with embarrassment if revealed. If the diary wasn't hidden in the drawer with the false drawer, then it could be out for anyone to pick up and read, as Setsuna had been thinking about mere minutes prior. _Anyone_. Even Minako herself. Oh God. Setsuna's face tried to blush at the thought. Finding that her features couldn't do it, she tried to distract her mind by flipping through the book again. It didn't help that much, really.

"Hey, act your age--senile," Minako retorted as she got up from her place in front of the fire and moved to an armchair just across from Setsuna.

She wanted to glare at the Senshi of Time but, finding that she couldn't, glared at the Rubix Cube in her hands instead. A whole side of it was done, but every time she tried to work on the other five sides she would get a lone orange square disrupting the wall of green. Or a blue one. It was all very confusing. Setsuna's eye twitched. Just like Minako with her intelligence, if there was one thing Setsuna was touchy about, it was her age. Not even the adorable blond sitting across from her could change that. The hands holding the pages of her book suddenly convulsed and tightened. There was a soft ripping sound.

Forcing herself to stay calm in spite of holding three newly independent pages in one hand, Setsuna shot a strained smile at her agitator."You must be an arithmetic girl. You add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance."

From her hiding place behind the urn, Rei covered her mouth to hold back a snicker. The Senshi of Time versus the Senshi of Love, both filled with enough biting, caustic wit to make a statue cry. The miko grinned to herself and settled in to watch the show. Just like she had planned, after peeking at Setsuna's diary. She suddenly wished she had brought along a video camera. Minako narrowed her eyes for only a moment. Then it had passed and she was reclining in her chair, shifting to one side so as to watch the older woman with an almost catlike expression.

At Setsuna's perplexed look, she smiled. "Oh no, please keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested." With that, the blond let out a huge exaggerated yawn.

Setsuna smiled a dangerously sweet smile and shut her book with a snap. "I see that you've set this time aside to humiliate yourself." Minako just shrugged and lounged out more fully on the armchair. Those who did not know her who have made the mistake of thinking it was a gesture of indifference. Rei bit her lip in anticipation as she peered out from between the urn and the wall, sharing her blond friend's eagerness to get the show on the road. Oh, this was most definitely going to be entertaining.

"Watch out, Setsuna. One more wrinkle and you'd pass for a prune."

"I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped."

"Says the woman who is so old her memory is in black and white."

Stung, Setsuna leaped to her feet and glared daggers at the snarky teenager. Rei's eyes widened at the rapid progress of her plan. First she felt shock, then a certain familiar smugness as the Senshi of Love abruptly stood up as well, hands curled into fists. "By the way, Minako, a rejection letter from MENSA wouldn't be to much of a surprise for you now, would it?" The green-haired woman all but snarled, every bit of composure fleeing from her mind as fast as possible.

Minako grabbed a pillow from the armchair she had been sitting on and flung it with all her might. It struck Setsuna right in the face. "You're so ancient, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you!" The insult rang in the Senshi of Time's ears as she fell backward onto the couch from which she had just risen. She bounced on the springs, once, twice, and then back to her feet. Setsuna reached for her own cushion just as Minako's hand strayed toward another one of her own.

And then the room was alive with fluffy projectiles and insults being screamed at the top of the two girl's lungs.

"Can I use your head for my rock garden?"

A pillow smacked off Minako's forehead as another struck her arm.

"You've got more issues than National Geographic!"

A flurry of cushions pummeled Setsuna's front and sent her tumbling over the back of the couch. Rei stiffened, afraid that her cover had been blown, then relaxed as the normally even tempered Senshi jumped back over the couch with two more pillows to do battle with. She hadn't noticed Rei at all. The battle raged on in a flurry of words and cushions. It was scary the things two girls could think up to yell at each other when they thought they were alone.

"When it comes to I.Q. points, you lose them every time you go to the bathroom!"

"Hey, Setsuna! Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?"

Minako managed to dodge the first pillow, but wasn't fast enough to evade the second. It bounced off her shoulder and, to both of their horror, flew toward the open fireplace. The fight was temporarily forgotten as the pillow spun a slow arc through the air, landed in the fireplace, _then hit the back of the fireplace and bounced back out_. The blazing cushion began to burn away the carpet it lay on.

Minako and Setsuna screamed and rushed forward to put out the flaming pillow. Rei's eyes widened and she turned around and crawled away, not wishing to be privy to the scene any longer. The miko was suddenly grateful that she had _not_ brought a video camera, as it would have impeded her getaway. Scramble as she did, she could not, however, escape the sounds of their attempts.

"Get some water!"

"I'll get it!"

"No, I'll get it!"

"Ow!"

There was a crashing and splashing sound as whatever container of water that was being carried hit the ground. An awkward silence reigned. Scurrying away as inconspicuously as she could, Rei's sharp ears caught Minako's last words from far behind her.

"Well, at least the fire's out."


	4. Friday Part 2: The Tea Affair

**Disclaimer still stands.**

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It was cold outside. 

Really freaking cold, as Makoto could attest to. She was out there in the snow, bundled from head to toe, grumbling to herself as she chopped wood for the fireplace. Damn snow. Damn fire. Damn Minako and Setsuna. It was all their fault, really. She had come down the stairs around noon, just out of the shower. Eating some Fruit Loops and enjoying them, she had asked what the dark spot on the carpet was. At first the two pretended to not know what she was talking about, yet when Makoto pointed at the spot with her spoon Minako immediately started to stutter out something about a pillow. She was drowned out only by Setsuna loudly asking Makoto to go outside and chop wood.

It was a good thing that the young Kino was already bundled up, otherwise she might have frozen to death when she was given the two simultaneous boots to her behind that sent her flying out the door. Hitting the ground, she rolled around in the deep snow for a minute before slumping to a halt. She had tried to get back in, but the two had locked the door. Growling, Makoto set down the ax and put another log on the chopping stump.

It was a big one, and would have to be spilt into fourths before Makoto could carry it back inside. She picked up the ax again and attempted to hit her target, but the edge swung down past it harmlessly and knocked the log off the stump and onto her foot. Dropping the ax, the brunette yelped and sat down in the snow. Makoto gave the woodpile a hearty glare as she rubbed her sore and aching foot. She knew that the wood was out to get her. Getting up, she grinned as she replaced the log, lifted the ax, and brought it down, cleaving the insolent hunk of timber right in two.

She kept going until it lay in sixths all around her. Unable to resist, the brunette did a victory dance around the woodpile. Fancy being challenged by her own element! "Oh, what now? You've been pwned by Jupiter, sucka. Who's your daddy? Hah!" Makoto taunted the inanimate objects. Feeling full of victory, Makoto carefully set the ax down out of the way and gathered up the wood. The color had returned to her cheeks in the middle of all her exercising. As she walked back to the mansion, Makoto idly watched her breath faded away into the biting air in small trails of steam. She kicked the door with one foot.

"Hurry up and let me in, guys. I bring wood and stuff for the fire!"

Minako's reply was muffled from behind the door. "I trust thee not, cave woman! You have come for me Lucky Charms. Pshaw, get thee thence! I am not fooled by your trickery."

Makoto sighed and asked the heavens above for patience. "Fine. You can just stay inside and let the fire die out. It must be fun freezing to death."

The door suddenly opened. The young Kino smirked and walked in. Minako stepped out from behind the door and relieved Makoto of her burden. "Yeah, that's what I thought," the tall girl teased as the blond rushed to stuff all the wood into the fireplace. The flames, which had been reduced to glowing embers, sprang up again. Minako let out a happy sigh and sat down in front of the fire, monopolizing it. Makoto rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. She felt herself melting into the cushions. It felt so nice to be in a warm house after the subarctic temperature of outside.

Yet she could not rest. Already her sharp ears had picked out footsteps coming closer. It could have been anyone; there were eight or so other people in the mansion excluding herself and Minako. Despite that, her heart increased its pace. Her mouth suddenly felt dry. Just like the fire, Makoto sprang up from the couch and went into the kitchen. She couldn't handle this. She needed some tea or something if she was going to deal with the way her nerves danced at the mere idea of Ami coming into the room. Minako watched her go, amused, then curled up in front of the fire and promptly fell asleep.

Makoto searched for the kettle, growing steadily more irritated. Where the hell was it? The young Kino growled softly as she opened cupboards and drawers. Bending over, she looked under the sink. It wasn't there. Makoto kicked the drawers closed and folded her arms. She looked around. If she was a stoic Senshi of Time, where would she hide a tea kettle. Makoto grinned and tilted her head up at a lone cupboard that had previously escaped her notice. Of course. Someplace so high up it wouldn't catch anyone's eye.

Rolling up her sleeves, Makoto climbed on top of the counter and reached for the handle. Pulling the door open, she smirked. There was the kettle. Figured. The young Kino grabbed it and jumped off the counter. She landed gracefully. Smiling from her second victory that day, Makoto swung the kettle around in the air and nearly hit Ami in the face with it. The genius squeaked.

"Woah there!"

Makoto jumped and looked at her, fighting a blush.

"Ah! Ami-chan! Are you okay?"

The young Mizuno nodded and tried to smile, her heart beating rapidly from the close encounter. Makoto moved closer, and her heart increased its pace for a very different reason. Makoto tried to sound upbeat and casual. "That's the jungle for ya, Ami. Watch out or I might just eat you alive!" The two of them laughed, although something was a little bit off. Ami's mind was in a whirl over the perverted connotations of Makoto's words, even though she assured herself that Makoto did not mean for them to be like that. She tried to shove the image out of her mind. Ami failed.

There was a silence.

Makoto flicked on the stove and turned back around, making much more hustle and bustle in the kitchen than was necessary. She filled the kettle with water, set it on the stove, checked it, and moved to the cupboard, acting like Ami wasn't even there. It might have been easier for the young Kino if she wasn't. Her fingers were shaking terribly as she opened the box of tea packets. Getting even one out was an unbearable struggle. Setting it aside on the counter, Makoto turned around to check the kettle again and almost crashed into Ami again. Leaping back, she smiled and laughed nervously.

"Ha ha ha, sorry about Ami. Guess I wasn't paying attention again. Would you like some tea? I'm making tea." Makoto rubbed the back of her head and tried desperately to act casual. It must have worked, because the genius smiled gently and gestured to the tea packets.

"That would be lovely, thank you."

Time passed in that manner, Makoto making tea, Ami watching, each furiously battling off waves of fantasies that Setsuna would have been proud to imagine. Finally, Makoto poured some tea into a cup, put the cup on a saucer, and handed the whole caboodle to the genius. Ami smiled and reached out to take it. Their fingers brushed. The accidental touch sparked blushes across each of their faces, and Makoto jerked her hand away as if she had been branded just as Ami dropped the cup in surprise. It fell and shattered on the floor. Makoto's hands rose to cover her eyes just as Ami's flew up to cover her mouth in horror.

"I'll get it."

"No, I'll get it!"

They ducked forward, hands outstretched to collect the pieces of broken china, and yelped as their heads collided. The two girls stood up, rubbing their skulls in such a manner one might mistake them for twins. By the time the pain had faded and they could open their eyes again, Hotaru had already swept up the ceramic bits and was depositing it in the nearby trash can. Grabbing a towel, the young girl mopped up the spilled tea as well.

"Ah, thank you Hotaru." Ami said, attempting to grin while her head still throbbed with a dull, aching pain. The frail-looking Tomoe rolled her eyes sarcastically but smiled anyway.

"It's okay. I'm used to doing stuff like this." Ami and Makoto first looked at each other, then back to Hotaru. Back and forth. Back and forth. Finally, Makoto worked up the courage to ask Hotaru just what she meant by that.

"Do Michiru and Haruka have you do chores around the house?"

"Hah, that's right. Sure they do. They work her like a slaaaave, don't they, Hotaru?" A new voice spoke from behind the genius and amazon. They leaped about a foot in the air and whirled around to come face to face with a smirking ChibiUsa. Usagi's time-travelling daughter strolled nonchalantly past the three girls to the refrigerator. As Ami got her breathing back under control and Makoto silently calmed her rapidly-beating heart, ChibiUsa opened the door and withdrew an apple. "I do wonder where you learned how to clean, though. Was it in...I don't know...Crazy Town?" She first placed it in her mouth, then suddenly bit down with a satisfying crunch. All of this was done while eyeing Hotaru with a mischievous hooded stare that did not go ignored.

"Oh, but I learned it from _you_, ChibiUsa. One just has to ask your mother how your room looked before I flew in from 'Crazy Town'." Hotaru answered sweetly, miming a bird flying away with her hands. "Especially about that mound of dirty clothes you had stuffed into her closet once because there was no room left in your own."

"..Hotaru, don't tell them that." ChibiUsa said in a pained voice.

"Oh? What about the famous 'peanut butter' incident? Shall I tell them about that instead?" Just like ChibiUsa's glare, Hotaru's teasing grin was the spitting image of her foster father...mother. She walked up to the fuming pink-haired child and briskly stole the apple away from her. "It took a week before she could go in your room without screaming, as I recall."

Hotaru took a thoughtful munch on the purloined apple, her teeth marks intertwining with her now ex-girlfriend's. Ami and Makoto stood forgotten in the background, looking as if they were enjoying a particularly heated tennis match. Silently, the brunette poured two more cups of tea and handed one to Ami. It didn't fall this time, and they sipped the hot liquid simultaneously. Hotaru did an obscenely flirtatious about-face, still mulling over the apple. Her skirt lifted to briefly expose a flash of tempting thigh before fluttering back down.

"Or was it two weeks...?"

Ducking an aggravated swipe at her head, Hotaru ran off laughing, ChibiUsa hot on her tail and trying to stay mad but not quite able to. Makoto smiled after them.

"Nothing like young love, don't ya think Ami?"

Ami nodded. They looked at each other, then quickly turned away, drinking tea so fast it burned their tongues.


	5. Saturday: The Lesson Of Inertia

**Disclaimer still stands. Finally, some HarukaxMichiru for all of you.**

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Saturday morning was cool.

Not cold, but definitely chilly enough to warrant warm clothes. Haruka peered down the hill she stood on, balanced on the snowboard Setsuna had thoughtfully brought along for her to use. Behind her, Hotaru and ChibiUsa ran around armed to the teeth with snowballs, making the occasional yelp as they hit their targets; each other. Using a nearby tree branch, Haruka pushed off. Only when she was already over the crest did she finally notice Michiru was standing a little farther down the hill, looking out at the snow covered landscape.

She was in the way.

Haruka leaned to the left, meaning to swerve around Michiru and perhaps kick up a fine spray of snow into her face. The snow proved to unstable for her to do anything but keep her balance. So instead, the sandy-blonde tried to stop. She couldn't do that either. There was no time. Eyes wide, Haruka did the only thing she could; yell out a warning.

"Michiru, watch out! I...I can't stop!"

The violinist had always been fast on her feet, but she found that it was an entirely different matter altogether to jump out of the way of danger when you're wearing a pair of skis. Haruka crashed into her and sent the both of them tumbling head over heels down the hill. Down, down, down they went, rolling around like clothes in a laundry machine set to "quick-dry". They screamed in fright and surprise. As they traveled the length of the declining slope, they began to pick up both speed and snow until they resembled a giant snowball. Then, to make things worse, the two Senshi encountered the ramp Haruka had set up for her midair stunts.

Sailing through the air, still screaming, Haruka and Michiru hit the ground with a muffled thump.

They lay buried in the snow for a moment. Hotaru and ChibiUsa came running down the hill after them, but slowly, fearing the same fate if one of them tripped. Michiru began to claw at the slush, making a good sized hole. She crawled out and shook her head. Snow fell from her cascading hair in frozen clumps. Untangling herself from the pile, Haruka unbuckled her feet from the snowboard and set it down. Her desire to go riding down the mountain had been completely ruined for the day, possibly for her lifetime. Likewise, Michiru took off her skis. They looked at each other, then looked away.

"I blame you."

Michiru grumbled under her breath. The sandy blond stuck her tongue out at the other girl and flicked a piece of snow off her shoulder. It landed on the back of Michiru's neck, making her jump as it slid down her shirt. Haruka snickered.

"You always blame me."

"That's only because it's usually your fault."

"Is this how it's going to go down, Michiru? Well, bring it on!"

"Oh, it's on!"

They went rolling around in the slush again, but with a very different purpose this time. Snarling and cursing at each other, Haruka and Michiru fought for dominance. Finally they stopped, Michiru straddling the young Tenoh and smirking triumphantly. Seeing her chance, Haruka pulled Michiru's sweatshirt collar open and stuffed a wad of snow straight down into the line of tempting cleavage. The young Kaioh squealed and pulled away, but not after forcing an armload of snow into the track star's pants in revenge. The battle halted momentarily as Haruka jumped up and hopped around, wincing as snow brushed against her skin on it's way down one of her pant legs.

Michiru jostled her bra viciously, trying to dislodge the frozen stuff from her chest. They glared at each other. Luckily, Hotaru and ChibiUsa had arrived on the scene by then, prolonging the continuation of the war.

"Michiru-mama! Haruka-papa! Are you two all right?"

Haruka shook out some more snow from her right pant leg ruefully. "I've been better, Himme-chan." Hotaru turned to her foster mother with a worried expression. Michiru smiled reassuringly at her as she stood up and dusted snow off her pants. She worked one hand inside her shirt. Although Haruka tried to hide it, a keen interest sparkled in her eyes as she watched the other girl out of the corner of her eye. Finally, Michiru withdrew a handful of snow and flung it on the ground.

"I'm all right, Hotaru. Haruka cheats when she fights me, that's all."

Haruka laughed and strolled away towards the mansion, stuffing her hands into her pockets. "You always think I cheat." Michiru smirked and walked after her.

"Because you usually do."

"Oh, not this again."

"Yes, this again."

Hotaru and Chibiusa shot each other looks of exasperation before they remembered that they were supposed to have broken up and turned away with a huff. There was silence, save for the muted sounds of the four Senshis plowing through the deep snow. Hotaru glanced up at the sky, winced, and started running. Usagi's daughter looked after her, puzzled. Hotaru was not the kind to run off. Hell, Hotaru wasn't the kind to run anywhere, with her fragile body and health issues. ChibiUsa looked up at the sky, and what she saw prompted her to start dashing for the mansion too.

She shot past Haruka and Michiru on Hotaru's heels, yelling. "IT'S GONNA RAIN!"

The two adults stopped in their tracks and stared after their foster daughter and her ex-girlfriend. Then they stared up at the sky. They stared at each other. At the same time, they started to run for mansion and the shelter it provided. The clouds were a very ugly, very threatening shade of purple-black. It was going to start coming down in buckets. Whomever was still outside when that happened would end up a snowman, or snow woman.

Thunder roared overhead like the hooves of a thousand stampeding horses.

As they raced towards the mansion, the feuding couple couldn't help but glance at each other. Haruka smirked. Michiru's eyes glittered a challenge. Turning their gazes back to stare at their destination, each upped their pace until they were going at breakneck speed. Hotaru and ChibiUsa were left in the dust. Haruka was a track star, through and through. No one could pass her when she was of a mind to really let loose and run. However, Michiru wasn't looking to beat the young Tenoh. Breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, the violinist concentrated on keeping step with Haruka until they were less than two yards away from the house.

Then she made her move.

Darting her hand out, Michiru grabbed hold of Haruka's collar and slowed her down temporarily. Using all of her Senshi agility, she jumped onto the young Tenoh and wrapped her legs around her waist in a death hold. Haruka stumbled at sudden added weight, but kept on running. Locking her arms around Haruka's neck, Michiru bent down until she was close to the sandy blonde's ear. "Better hurry now, Ruka. I do believe it's going to rain." Haruka growled but said nothing. There was no time to stop and peel her ex-lover off her back.

When they finally reached the mansion, Michiru hopped down nimbly from Haruka and danced away before her impromptu carrier could swat her ass in retaliation. Haruka watched her leave for her room, hips swaying seductively, and sighed. Yawning, the young Tenoh placed a hand on Hotaru's shoulder. The small girl had made it inside with ChibiUsa in the nick of time. Outside, hail came down in frigid, stinging nettles amid the onslaught of freezing rain.

"Firefly, do me a favor."

"What is it, Haruka-papa?"

"Don't date people like your mother."

"I'll try my hardest not to."


	6. Saturday Part 2: The Dangers Of Kids

**Disclaimer still stands. I also would like to direct you all to the disclaimer posted in Chapter One. Ta ta.**

* * *

The Senshi were gathered in the living room, watching a movie.

It was the Swan Princess.

ChibiUsa had suggested it. Accordingly, they all blamed her.

Minako found herself jumping at every occasional shutterflash of lightning. Thunder boomed. She yelped and jumped into the Senshi of Time's lap, who was sitting in an armchair by the window. Setsuna frowned at her, although inside she was cheering in delight. Sighing, she went back to reading the book she had borrowed from Ami on quantum physics. However, it was proving difficult as Minako kept tightening her grip on her every time the storm rumbled.

"Will you stop?" _No, don't stop! Ignore my mouth! Listen to my mind, it's so much smarter!_ "I don't mind if you sit on me, but please stop acting like I'm a porcupine instead of a person." Minako calmed down then, sprawling herself across Setsuna like a great blond blanket. Setsuna sighed again. "Great, now I can't read my book at all. Your body is in the way." Across from her on the couch, Haruka and Rei bit back a snicker.

Setsuna glared at them. They shut up.

Hotaru and ChibiUsa lay on their stomaches, right up against the television screen. "You know, I wonder why our electricity hasn't been affected by the storm." The Senshi of Silence pondered aloud, not really expecting an answer. ChibiUsa shot the young Tomoe a meaningful glare.

"Shh. Odette is talking."

Hotaru grumbled and rolled her eyes, but closed her mouth and concentrated on the screen. Beside her, ChibiUsa stared at the swan princess with such an expression of lovesick infatuation it made Hotaru's stomach churn. She couldn't understand the pink-haired girl _at all_ sometimes; Odette wasn't even a real person. Plus, Hotaru knew she was way more attractive than some blond trollop. No, she was not jealous. Haruka sat on the couch behind the two, legs spread in a gesture of casual manliness. Michiru was seated the space of a cushion away on the same couch, hands resting lightly on top of her own crossed petite legs.

Rei and Usagi sat on the floor, sensing what would happen if either one of them tried to claim the spare cushion between the Senshi of Wind and Water. "I bet Makoto knows," Usagi said in a singsong voice, crossing her legs in the Lotus position. The miko snorted in disbelief.

"Yeah, of course she does. She transformed into Sailor Jupiter when everyone was looking the other way and asked the storm nicely if it would let us keep our electricity so we could watch a movie about arranged marriages and grown men that have a thing for chicks who can sprout wings and feathers."

The future queen and her daughter both glared at the Senshi of Fire. "Don't mock me, Rei." Usagi warned, prodding Rei in the shoulder. She brushed the annoyed blond's hands away with a dismissive smirk.

"Oh, I'm not mocking you. Mocking you would be saying that if brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to drive an ant's Go-cart around the inside of a bottle cap. Or that when they made you, they broke the mold - and beat the mold maker with the pieces."

"Go play in traffic, Rei. If I wanted your opinion, I'd rattle your cage. You wouldn't know a good idea if it beat you over the head with a hair crimper while singing 'Old McDonald'. Besides, what if I'm right? What if Makoto really does have some sort of control over lightning?"

"I think she's kinda busy as it is without doing stuff with a power she may or may not have," Rei pointed out, jerking a thumb at the loveseat behind her. Ami and Makoto had been sharing it when the movie had begun, but over the course of time the genius had fallen asleep. Makoto held her, stroking her head absentmindedly, not paying attention to anything. Everyone else had refrained from laughter or teasing, fearing that they would ruin the moment, as rare as it was.

Usagi nodded. "Good point. You should do some more soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one."

"All right, but only if you believe me when I say I don't want to make a monkey out of you, Usagi. Why should I take all the credit?"

"Hey!"

Deep in exhausted sleep, Ami mumbled and snuggled deeper into Makoto's arms, moving unconsciously towards a source of welcoming heat. Makoto let her do it even as her mind raged with its inner turmoil. This felt nice. It felt very nice, in fact. Makoto knew that if she happened to die right there, she would do it happily. She could smell Ami's shampoo. It was a smell Makoto knew and identified at once, because it was the same aroma that haunted both her dreams and her greenhouse back home. It was the scent of flowers in bloom.

All very nice, but it wasn't worth anything. She was a pillow, not a lover.

Makoto sighed and leaned back, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't in a real sofa. Shuffling around a little, the brunette tried to move into a more comfortable position. As she was in the process of laying down, Ami rolled over in her sleep. Makoto found herself pinned, unable to move for fear of waking the young Mizuno. Rei and Usagi started giggling quietly. Makoto blushed and shot a death glare at them, but didn't say anything.

Minako, meanwhile, had made Setsuna into her own personal set of monkey bars. Clambering over the back of the armchair, the blond perched herself on its top, balancing on Setsuna's shoulders. The Senshi of Love leaned over until she was staring into the green-haired woman's violet eyes, her spine curving delicately like a crescent moon, golden hair spilling down and forming a curtain around Setsuna's face.

"Whatcha reading?"

Setsuna whacked her gently on the head with her book.

"How to swat annoying blondes. Now shoo!"


	7. Sunday: The Meddling Of Two

**Disclaimer still stands. Also, I think this is the first time I've ever used the word "nipple" in a fanfic. I feel so proud. : D **

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It was the middle of the night. 

Actually, it was close to 3 Am. So technically it was Sunday morning. All of the Senshi had fallen asleep after the movies were over. Apparently, Usagi had become hooked on the Swan Princess as well as her daughter and had demanded that they watch the two sequels. No one ever dared to refuse the future Queen except Mamoru, and he wasn't here. So they had sat and watched until late into the night. One by one, they had nodded off in the warm glow of the dying fire.

Rei opened one eye. From the floor, she assessed the situation. Makoto and Ami were slumbering on the loveseat, one on top of the other until it was hard to tell who was who. Haruka and Michiru had also fallen asleep on top of each other, but there was a distinct lack of intertwining and hugging and whatnot. Hotaru and ChibiUsa were curled up on the carpet, facing each other. Setsuna had conked out in her armchair by the window. The book she had been reading lay abandoned on the ground. Minako was in her lap, looking innocent. It was a laughable idea.

And Usagi?

Rei smiled and looked down at the girl in question. She had a habit of clinging to things and people that got to close too her while she slept. The smile quickly became a conniving grin. Silently, Rei clapped a hand over Usagi's mouth and worked one hand underneath her shirt. After a minute, the miko found what she was looking for. Usagi came awake with a muffled yelp as her left nipple was pinched. _Hard_. She tried to thrash around but found herself unable to, as Rei had used her legs to lock the blond's body down and prevent her from moving.

"Don't. Say. One. Word. If you wake up _anyone_ in this room with your usual noise, I swear I'll make you eat Minako's chicken soup until you're sent into a coma," Rei murmured softly. She felt Usagi nod eagerly in front of her, signaling that she would indeed keep silent. Minako's soup was worse than any death threat. At least the horrid taste couldn't haunt you when you were a corpse. The miko let her Usagi and moved a little farther away to give the young Tsuskino some much needed space. Without a sound, Usagi sat up and slid over to Rei, her light blue eyes questioning.

Dropping her voice to a low whisper, the young Hino relayed her plan.

"Okay Usagi, time to let you in on a little secret. Me and Setsuna over there have made it our mission to bring together the Senshi again; reunite Haruka and Michiru, get Hotaru and your daughter to make up, prod Ami and Makoto into confessing, and play a bit of matchmaker with Minako and Setsuna. Of course, Puu doesn't know about that last part. If you promise to not breathe a word about this to anyone, you can help us out if you want. You in?"

Usagi's face split open in a wide, mischievous grin. She nodded, but didn't forget to keep her reply quiet. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, which couple do we go about fixing, Rei?" Rei smirked at the other girl's eagerness.

"Don't worry. I've got it all planned out. We've made some progress already; see how most of the others have got the whole "snugglebunny" vibe going on? Not counting today, there's three days left before Setsuna can admit defeat and let us get out of here. So, now is the time when we make some headway. Follow me."

Creeping and crawling, the two made their way over to the loveseat. Rei pointed over to Ami, then moved until she was nearest to Makoto. Nodding, the blond took up position beside the slumbering genius. Carefully, slowly, Rei demonstrated what she had in mind. She gently tilted Makoto's head downward so that it rested on Ami's. Usagi caught on. Being just as deliberate, she pushed the young Mizuno's head in, just a tad, until Ami's lips were all but brushing Makoto's neck. The duo worked in silence for a few minutes. When they were done, the brunette had one arm laid across the back of Ami's shoulders while her other one was draped just above the small girl's waist.

Usagi had made it so that Ami's own arms were slung around the young Kino's neck, her body slightly straddling Makoto's waist. They looked every inch the cute couple.

Pleased, Rei and Usagi smiled at each other and tiptoed a short way over to the couch where Haruka and Michiru was. They sighed, knowing that they'd have to think a little more salaciously this time. Rei took Haruka's side, while Usagi did the same for Michiru. Praying for steady control, Rei lifted the track star's hand and moved it until it was resting lightly on Michiru's curvy behind. Holding her breath, Usagi turned the violinist's head until it was halfway buried into the young Tenoh's ample chest. They stepped back, faces red, not daring to do any more.

Two down, two to go.

They moved towards Hotaru and ChibiUsa. Usagi took the place by her daughter, but before she could do a thing the girl began to mumble. Then she groaned softly. It didn't look good at all. Usagi began to panic as her pink-haired daughter started to flail weakly, caught in the throes of a nightmare. She dearly loved ChibiUsa, but Usagi vowed to herself that if she ruined this chance for love, she would _die_. After all, there was a mountain just outside a mansion. It would be so easy for someone to trip and fall over the edge...never to be found again.

The future Queen was jolted rudely out of her thoughts as Rei pulled her behind the couch. Peeking around separate corners, the miko and the ditz watched with bated breath as ChibiUsa's fear gently roused a sleeping Hotaru. Rei had to bite her lip to keep from cursing. Usagi wrung her hands in quiet, nervous anticipation. Hotaru looked around blearily. Rei and Usagi ducked out of sight. When they ventured to look again, the young Tomoe had turned her back to them. Incredibly, despite their apparent break-up, she was focused completely on ChibiUsa.

Proving that, once again, kids were strange, _strange_ creatures. God help the rest of the Senshi when the two went to middle school and got their first taste of teenage rebellion.

"Nnng...'sis okay, Usa-chan...I...I'm here...don't worry...I'll kick those monsters' asses...I'm a Senshi...zzzngh." The Senshi of Silence mumbled out as she wrapped her thin arms around the pink-haired girl. Her eyelids fluttered closed again, and Hotaru drifted back to sleep. She had never been fully awake in the first place. The youngest Tsuskino breathed out a sigh and fell limp, her nightmares quelled. From behind the couch, Usagi and Rei suppressed their own sighs, these of relief, and nodded to each other. That was one more couple down for the count.

Surprisingly, Rei muffled a yawn and shuffled back to her original place by the couch on the floor. "What about those two?" Usagi asked softly, pointing to the snoozing duo of Setsuna and Minako. Rei smiled evilly and laid down to finish sleeping. The other girl did the same, keeping her eyes locked on the miko as she waited for an answer.

"I've got it taken care of. Now, go to sleep. I have a feeling that the rest of the day will be rather busy, if not hectic. Remember, not a word of what went on here to anyone!"


End file.
